Last week, I read this blog about women being too busy for love. It made me think about whether my schedule is literally too jam packed to add another consistent (at least when it’s done right) activity like dating. The question at hand is whether women really have time to date. And my answer is that I don’t…not in my day-to-day life. The truth is, my daily life is full of other stuff. I usually run from meeting to meeting and commitment to commitment, all while texting, checking emails, playing scrabble and/or words with friends, catching up on my social media networks, and chatting with my family and friends. My schedule leaves barely enough time to ensure life’s necessities, such as a balanced diet, filling my gas tank, washing my clothes, knowing what’s happening on my favorite shows, doing my hair, and cleaning my house. So, where would I find time to connect with and entertain a mate?
I have this ritual I attempt to complete every few months where I focus time on decluttering my life. I cut out things that require an inappropriate amount of my time without adding substantive value to my life or character. When I talk about dating–even though it’s not something I currently do with any sort of frequency–I often state (and I believe) that I would have time for dating if the right man was involved. On the other hand, I’ve been known to say that a long-distance relationship would be best for me because it would allow me to schedule my relationship the way that I schedule the rest of my life. I could maintain the chaos of my daily life, taking breaks every so often to spend time with “him” whomever he may be. Unfortunately, though, that’s not the way relationships work.
The crazy thing is that the life I described in the first paragraph is pretty synonymous with many of the single people I know. That’s not to say that we don’t find/take time to socialize and enjoy ourselves, but even social time is just as planned and scheduled as everything else. There’s not much space for spontaneity or flexibility.
So, again I ask, do you seriously have time to date?